For many managers and staff there is an immediate cringe when the word feedback is mentioned. Lots of people have bad memories of feedback that was given in the wrong way or was hurtful because it seemed to be aimed at their core values and beliefs. Many have had their confidence seriously damaged by negative feedback delivered in the wrong way. That is why ‘Giving feedback’ is a module you will find in most management training programmes. Giving feedback is a very important management skill and results in many positive outcomes if and when it is delivered in the correct and appropriate way. The key in being able to manage the giving of feedback is to actually be skilled in the ‘Receiving of feedback’. You are not always capable of giving good feedback until you have a good understanding of how to receive feedback. Equally, it is also important for anyone expected to respond to feedback to also be skilled in knowing how to receive feedback.

Many feel threatened by ‘feedback’, and worry in advance of knowing they are going into a feedback session. Many have the perception that feedback is an opportunity for someone else to ‘have a go’ at them. All these perceptions come from the lack of understanding about how to receive feedback. There may be a feedback culture in an organisation or there may simply be good management skills in place to have feedback going on regularly, or feedback maybe a rare event, either way the skills of receiving it will make it more effective. There are also organisations and poor managers who treat feedback as a waste of time or something to be criticised and joked about, or people simply pay it lip service as part of an appraisal system. Where this happens there is no trust in the relationships and feedback is wasted and meaningless.

When there is an understanding that being open to receiving feedback in a positive way makes any feedback useful, people will move their heads to that place when they know they are about to receive feedback. When the organisation has a culture were trust exists and feedback is for learning, then people will learn to be open to the opportunity for the learning that feedback presents.

Being open to learning brings curiosity with it, so feedback can be explored and positive questions can be asked to start building on the information and support that it presents.

Receiving feedback with an open mind will completely enrich the whole process. It will turn negative feedback into an opportunity to learn or to reflect and change. A willingness to learn is a positive attitude and it opens the door for discussion and lots of questions. Requests for further information, further explanation, examples to support clarity, all these can be discussed without threat or embarrassment.

The secret to encouraging people to be positive and open minded with the receiving of feedback is trust. Where there is no threat of destructive feedback there will be trust. Where feedback has been based on honesty, there will be trust. These enable all members of an organisation to accept that they can be open to feedback and use it to their own advantage. When their behaviour has had negative impact on those around them and they learn this from feedback, the information can be carefully considered and the necessary action can be decided. It becomes easier to understand that everyone reacts from their own personal frame of reference and when negativity has happened and is treated as a learning experience then the perpetrator can feel safe about openly discussing the impact of his or her behaviour or actions. This encourages an understanding that negative feedback is for a positive purpose because of how it is received.

A state of mind open to learning, in turn will be supported by a willingness to make changes where necessary. Curiosity and openness to change come when there is a willingness to learn. Feedback is about learning, it is about trust and honesty. It should not be received with suspicion or doubt. Expecting people to receive feedback in a positive way is a big ask if they haven’t been given the knowledge around how they can make feedback work for them. In a culture where 360° Appraisal is in operation receiving feedback is an essential skill. The most important aspect of it is that to be capable of giving feedback a person needs to be capable of receiving it, this system of appraisal can only work if receiving feedback is given just as much focus through training and coaching.

Anyone involved in giving feedback must reflect on their own ability to receive feedback, the further up the ladder one goes, the more important this becomes. A good leader is always open to receiving feedback of any kind. Good leadership thrives on the receiving of feedback from all levels in an organisation. Great leaders are always open to learning and successful organisations become successful because all feedback is taken on board and acted upon. You will see that the most successful of organisations will always have systems in place for feedback to be given serious consideration regardless of how far down the pecking order it has come from. This means the actual organisation is good at receiving feedback. It is the responsibility of a good leader to ensure that all members of the organisation are skilled in receiving feedback and more especially, those who are responsible for giving it.

To receive feedback with an open mind and a willingness to learn is truly a gift.

Some key pointers to develop the skill of receiving feedback.

• Believe in yourself as a powerful resource to support your own confidence.
• Accept that no matter how great you are there will always be more to learn.
• Always have an open and curious mind.
• Understand that the person giving the feedback to you is coming from their own perception of the world and that is their truth about the subject for discussion.
• Ask questions that will enhance your learning.
• Give careful consideration to negative feedback or feedback that appears to criticise.
• Get comfortable with ‘reflection’ on your actions and behaviours.
• Accept that to change anything in your life you have to acknowledge that it exists and you are responsible for it.
• Accept that your actions may not be acceptable in someone else’s world, reflect on how you can understand others better and how you can work differently to grow rapport with them.
• Do not be afraid to trust those who give you feedback.
• When you feel that feedback is upsetting you, take a step back and have a look at all the factors from an outsider point of view, be objective, this is also an opportunity to grow.